TFQ’s podcast, Randall Cunningham (#12) Episode: NBA Draft, the dilemma for the Heat & more

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Randall Cunningham Version (Ep. 12) & Appendix

We’ve got some changes coming to TFQ, namely a change of web address, a new layout and this podcast available on iTunes. (We also decided to start each episode with #PROPS & #DROPS instead of What I Saw.)

For now, my co-host Yorga tries to help me through a hangover while we smoke up thoughts about what’s happened in the last week in sports – and what might happen in the future.

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We/I deemed this the Randall Cunningham episode…. Here’s a sign of my love for Randall. (Note the Jerome Brown tribute crest.) This week’s Statgasm segment also focuses on his body of work – which indicates he was a more productive passer throughout his whole career than most people realize.

me-randall-jersey

#PROPS & #DROPS is our segment when we give thumbs-up/-down to things in the sports world. You can follow Yorga @count_yorga and me @TFQuarter

#PROPS went out to Michelle Wie for her first career major win at the Women’s’ U.S. Open. She’s often referred to as The Big Wie-zy, after Ernie Els’ moniker, The Big Easy, so I gave a Jeffersons tribute.

weezy

Yorga also gave her #PROPS for her wild post-win celebration, which included, but may not have been limited to, twerking and drinking out of the trophy.

#DROPS to Jets QB Michael Vick for saying that he started the current dual threat QB trend.

Yorga gave #DROPS to the Colorado Rockies fielders for somehow managing to allow three runners to score on a wild pitch. Sickening.

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In our weekly What I Saw current events segment, we applauded Padres pitcher Alex Torres for wearing a new model of protective headgear on the mound. It may not look traditional, but it’s better than concussion or death.

We did a one-off segment, Will He Stay Or Will He Go Now?, otherwise known as the Clash segment. We discussed what the Miami Heat might do with their roster, and what LeBron James and the Big 3 may or may not do in terms of deciding their own contract situations.  A frustrating thing about many pro athletes came up when wondering if Dwayne Wade would exercise his $20 million contract option, which would hamstring his team’s ability to improve the roster even though he’s surely already rich as hell.  I wish more athletes would take pay cuts if their roster needs ask for it, because at the end of the day they’ll still be able to console themselves this way.

Here’s the box score for a Jays-Reds game that was our selection for Weekly Woodshed.

During the Statgasm on Randall Cunningham, I remembered Eagles CB Eric Allen’s amazing 94-yard clutch interception return for a TD to win a game versus the Jets during which Cunningham broke his leg in 1993.

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TFQ’s podcast, Isiah Thomas (#11) Episode: Spurs are NBA Champs & More

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Isiah Thomas Version (Ep. 11) & Appendix

So the week since Episode 10 has indeed been event-filled, as we predicted. But there’s also been some sad news, as several prominent names in pro sports passed away. For that we added a temporary segment called RIP, and also focused on the NBA Finals, which the Spurs won.

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At the opening of the podcast, I refer to the many titles I hold here at TFQ (hint: all of them except Count Yorga’s). I use a joke from this classic Pathological Liars Anonymous skit, starring Jon Lovitz on Saturday Night Live.

We deemed this the Isiah Thomas episode, since the man they called The Baby-Faced Assassin wore number 11. That jersey number led me to bring up former NFL QB Jim “Don’t Call Me Chris” Everett, because I seldom pass up an opportunity to refer to his beast mode attack of asshole news reporter Jim Rome. (We also “sparked” our joint in the name of legendary MLB manager Sparky Anderson, also number 11.) Another runner-up for the episode title was Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, whom we call “Cousin Larry” as a nod to Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers, and how he would call his cousin, Larry Appleton by this name.

balki-moisturepimp dot com

In What I Saw we dealt with a few news items:

We deal with PGA golfer Martin Kaymer’s dominance in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open in our Weekly Woodshed, but in this segment we mentioned other highlights of the tourney, including a crazy ace by Zach Johnson on Sunday, and a wild approach by Kenny Perry during the third round.

We gave an update on the Donald Sterling saga, because the embattled (former? Too soon?) Clippers owner has “released the hounds” against the NBA, which could call former NBA Commish David Stern into the fray, evoking this Godfather 3 classic.

We talked about the crazy new renovations the Jacksonville Jaguars are making to their stadium, including spas so fans and players alike can soak in their team’s stink. Here’s a link to the report, just because it seems far-fetched without evidence. But don’t get us wrong – all-you-can-drink/-eat packages are a very welcome plan by professional sports teams trying to combat the ever-improving home viewing experience.

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As always, we did #PROPS and #DROPS this week, some of which are our Tweets throughout the week. You can follow us @count_yorga & @TFQuarter

#PROPS to A’s outfielder Yoenis Cespedes for showing off his cannon arm on two occasions: This play at the plate, and this assist at third. This gave me a great (stoned) idea: an MLB All-Star Throwdown, an added skills competition to the All-Star break, in which outfielders (and others?) compete in some throwing contests. I’d love to see a Cuban showdown: Cespedes vs. L.A.’s Yasiel Puig. If anyone in the game today has a better arm than those two guys, let us know.

#DROPS to the typically-mistake-infused international play by England’s Wayne Rooney against Italy. I said we won’t talk much World Cup because we don’t like to be those douchebag sports people that analyze in depth a sport they don’t know well enough. But I am an England fan, and, really, just wanted a chance to say, “Ugh-Rooney”, a la Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The link in the tweet will explain it if you’ve made the tragic misstep of not seeing the movie.

#PROPS from Yorga to commemorate the 44th anniversary of Pirates pitcher Doc Ellis’ LSD no-hitter. We’ve posted it before but if you haven’t seen this animated recreation of the event (narrated by Ellis himself), you have to.

#PROPS to pro golfer Ricky Fowler, who honoured Payne Stewart 1999’s U.S. Open winner at Pinehurst, by wearing Stewart’s typical old-school knickers style.

#DROPS to ESPN writer Rick Reilly, who drastically misrepresented his own father-in-law’s comments about the debate around the Washington Redskins in the NFL keeping their name. You’ll hear the details in the podcast, but I enjoyed seeing award-winning Reilly being exposed for sloppy reporting because his emotionally manipulative articles and TV segments are reminiscent of Bart’s People on The Simpsons. Fess up, Rick. (At the time of recording, Reilly had issued no public comments that we knew of.)

Bart's People

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The focus of Episode 11, though, is the NBA Finals. We spoke at length about them, and said a lot about Kawhi Leonard, including some #PROPS. If you’ve been missing earlier episodes (for shame!), I started calling him Leonard Part 2 after the Bill Cosby crapsterpiece Leonard Part 6. However, an even better nickname, now that Leonard is pretty much success in itself, is the Ipso Factor, a nod to Leonard’s amazing spy outfit in the film.

I also compared Leonard’s smooth quickness to Apoo when he worked 96 hours straight at the Kwik-E-Mart on The Simpsons and thought he was “a hummingbird of some kind.”

Apoo-Hummingbird

I also dropped so many TRIVIA BOMBs on the NBA finals that it reminded me of this film classic.

STAY TUNED FOR THE SHIT SHOW, EPISODE 12 NEXT WEEK!

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Ep. 10 of TFQ’s podcast: NBA Finals, Rafael Nadal Tribute

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Episode 10 & Links

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This week I declared off the top that we’re as high as Spicoli before class. That’s a nod to Fast Times At Ridgemont High, for anyone out of touch with his or her early 1980s side. Here’s what I mean when I gauge our state upon record. (To the extent that the resolution may have been affected.)

When I introduced Count Yorga (under the understanding that we were high) I said, “Yorga, I’m looking in your general direction,” as though he was Cypress Hill in an episode of The Simpsons.

cypresshillsimpsons

This also made us reminisce about this time of year, when school is close to letting out, and things get all Alice Cooper once a year.

We’re starting a new tradition at The Shit Show, whereby we name each episode after our favourite athlete who wore that jersey number. This week is the Pelé Episode, with the world cup close on the horizon. One of the many runners up for this episode’s name was Earl Monroe, who was called “Black Jesus” when he wore number 10 in Baltimore, which took us down memory lane, a la He Got Game.

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What I Saw is our weekly current events segment. Yorga detailed the recent Manny Machado v. Athletics drama, which (…for now) culminated with Machado treating his bat like a caber. Here’s a Caber toss. I recommend watching it with the audio on, because the crowd goes off in typical fashion for the British Isles crazies. I argued that Machado couldn’t have been trying to intentionally hit an A’s player, unless his throwing aim was as bad as 50-Cent’s recent opening pitch. Keep the audio on for that too: The play-by-play guy has clearly seen Major League.

This caused me to start covering a hip-hop song by, Lifesavas: their Thuggity Skit on one of their albums. This is because of my dislike for Thug Hip-Hop, of what I like to refer to as Small-Penis-Hop, because to me it smacks of the same insecurity that, according to South Park, the Japanese have. The Japanese use this insecurity to hide the fact that they are scheming the U.S., but in the case of Small-Penis-Hoppers, it’s just full-fledged “look at my cars and guns and bitches and murder victims” overcompensation. Just saying.

Back to Machado’s behaviour: I mentioned an old Sports Illustrated article I’d read about how strict the rules of etiquette are in baseball, insinuating that some pitcher for the A’s is basically going to feel compelled to hit an Orioles hitter next time these teams meet.

Next, we talked about the intensifying legal situation around the NCAA and compensation for student athletes. Ed O’Bannon v. the NCAA started the day we recorded (Monday, June 9th) and it reminded me of the 4.8-second mad dash to win the game that UCLA PG Tyus Edney pulled during March Madness in 1995 to squeak past Missouri and get into the Sweet 16 en route to winning the national championship.  O’Bannon was on that Bruins team. I remembered it being in the first round, which was incorrect, but I plead the fifth dimension due to being high at the time.

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As always we gave out #PROPS and #DROPS, a thumbs up/down segment which is in part a nod to tweets we made throughout the week. You can follow Yorga @count_yorga and us @TFQuarter

I had these choice words for any fans in San Antonio who were tweeting complaints about the air conditioning failure during Game 1 of the NBA Finals.

I also suggested a history lesson for T’Wolves Part-owner and President, Flip Saunders, who decided to take over the head coaching job, following in someone’s stinky footsteps.

In Weekly Woodshed we took a look at just how much Rafael Nadal dominates the French Open…. So much so, it seems sometimes as though he’s made out of clay. This prompted a musical tribute to Rafa, with a festive spirit.  If you’re lazy, go to 1:15:30 of the podcast to hear my virtuoso tribute.

That’s it for Episode 10 – as we say during the podcast, we’re really looking forward to Episode 11!

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