TFQ’s podcast, Isiah Thomas (#11) Episode: Spurs are NBA Champs & More

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Isiah Thomas Version (Ep. 11) & Appendix

So the week since Episode 10 has indeed been event-filled, as we predicted. But there’s also been some sad news, as several prominent names in pro sports passed away. For that we added a temporary segment called RIP, and also focused on the NBA Finals, which the Spurs won.

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At the opening of the podcast, I refer to the many titles I hold here at TFQ (hint: all of them except Count Yorga’s). I use a joke from this classic Pathological Liars Anonymous skit, starring Jon Lovitz on Saturday Night Live.

We deemed this the Isiah Thomas episode, since the man they called The Baby-Faced Assassin wore number 11. That jersey number led me to bring up former NFL QB Jim “Don’t Call Me Chris” Everett, because I seldom pass up an opportunity to refer to his beast mode attack of asshole news reporter Jim Rome. (We also “sparked” our joint in the name of legendary MLB manager Sparky Anderson, also number 11.) Another runner-up for the episode title was Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, whom we call “Cousin Larry” as a nod to Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers, and how he would call his cousin, Larry Appleton by this name.

balki-moisturepimp dot com

In What I Saw we dealt with a few news items:

We deal with PGA golfer Martin Kaymer’s dominance in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open in our Weekly Woodshed, but in this segment we mentioned other highlights of the tourney, including a crazy ace by Zach Johnson on Sunday, and a wild approach by Kenny Perry during the third round.

We gave an update on the Donald Sterling saga, because the embattled (former? Too soon?) Clippers owner has “released the hounds” against the NBA, which could call former NBA Commish David Stern into the fray, evoking this Godfather 3 classic.

We talked about the crazy new renovations the Jacksonville Jaguars are making to their stadium, including spas so fans and players alike can soak in their team’s stink. Here’s a link to the report, just because it seems far-fetched without evidence. But don’t get us wrong – all-you-can-drink/-eat packages are a very welcome plan by professional sports teams trying to combat the ever-improving home viewing experience.

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As always, we did #PROPS and #DROPS this week, some of which are our Tweets throughout the week. You can follow us @count_yorga & @TFQuarter

#PROPS to A’s outfielder Yoenis Cespedes for showing off his cannon arm on two occasions: This play at the plate, and this assist at third. This gave me a great (stoned) idea: an MLB All-Star Throwdown, an added skills competition to the All-Star break, in which outfielders (and others?) compete in some throwing contests. I’d love to see a Cuban showdown: Cespedes vs. L.A.’s Yasiel Puig. If anyone in the game today has a better arm than those two guys, let us know.

#DROPS to the typically-mistake-infused international play by England’s Wayne Rooney against Italy. I said we won’t talk much World Cup because we don’t like to be those douchebag sports people that analyze in depth a sport they don’t know well enough. But I am an England fan, and, really, just wanted a chance to say, “Ugh-Rooney”, a la Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The link in the tweet will explain it if you’ve made the tragic misstep of not seeing the movie.

#PROPS from Yorga to commemorate the 44th anniversary of Pirates pitcher Doc Ellis’ LSD no-hitter. We’ve posted it before but if you haven’t seen this animated recreation of the event (narrated by Ellis himself), you have to.

#PROPS to pro golfer Ricky Fowler, who honoured Payne Stewart 1999’s U.S. Open winner at Pinehurst, by wearing Stewart’s typical old-school knickers style.

#DROPS to ESPN writer Rick Reilly, who drastically misrepresented his own father-in-law’s comments about the debate around the Washington Redskins in the NFL keeping their name. You’ll hear the details in the podcast, but I enjoyed seeing award-winning Reilly being exposed for sloppy reporting because his emotionally manipulative articles and TV segments are reminiscent of Bart’s People on The Simpsons. Fess up, Rick. (At the time of recording, Reilly had issued no public comments that we knew of.)

Bart's People

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The focus of Episode 11, though, is the NBA Finals. We spoke at length about them, and said a lot about Kawhi Leonard, including some #PROPS. If you’ve been missing earlier episodes (for shame!), I started calling him Leonard Part 2 after the Bill Cosby crapsterpiece Leonard Part 6. However, an even better nickname, now that Leonard is pretty much success in itself, is the Ipso Factor, a nod to Leonard’s amazing spy outfit in the film.

I also compared Leonard’s smooth quickness to Apoo when he worked 96 hours straight at the Kwik-E-Mart on The Simpsons and thought he was “a hummingbird of some kind.”

Apoo-Hummingbird

I also dropped so many TRIVIA BOMBs on the NBA finals that it reminded me of this film classic.

STAY TUNED FOR THE SHIT SHOW, EPISODE 12 NEXT WEEK!

Listen to the Podcast here

 

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Ep. 10 of TFQ’s podcast: NBA Finals, Rafael Nadal Tribute

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Episode 10 & Links

Listen to the podcast here

This week I declared off the top that we’re as high as Spicoli before class. That’s a nod to Fast Times At Ridgemont High, for anyone out of touch with his or her early 1980s side. Here’s what I mean when I gauge our state upon record. (To the extent that the resolution may have been affected.)

When I introduced Count Yorga (under the understanding that we were high) I said, “Yorga, I’m looking in your general direction,” as though he was Cypress Hill in an episode of The Simpsons.

cypresshillsimpsons

This also made us reminisce about this time of year, when school is close to letting out, and things get all Alice Cooper once a year.

We’re starting a new tradition at The Shit Show, whereby we name each episode after our favourite athlete who wore that jersey number. This week is the Pelé Episode, with the world cup close on the horizon. One of the many runners up for this episode’s name was Earl Monroe, who was called “Black Jesus” when he wore number 10 in Baltimore, which took us down memory lane, a la He Got Game.

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What I Saw is our weekly current events segment. Yorga detailed the recent Manny Machado v. Athletics drama, which (…for now) culminated with Machado treating his bat like a caber. Here’s a Caber toss. I recommend watching it with the audio on, because the crowd goes off in typical fashion for the British Isles crazies. I argued that Machado couldn’t have been trying to intentionally hit an A’s player, unless his throwing aim was as bad as 50-Cent’s recent opening pitch. Keep the audio on for that too: The play-by-play guy has clearly seen Major League.

This caused me to start covering a hip-hop song by, Lifesavas: their Thuggity Skit on one of their albums. This is because of my dislike for Thug Hip-Hop, of what I like to refer to as Small-Penis-Hop, because to me it smacks of the same insecurity that, according to South Park, the Japanese have. The Japanese use this insecurity to hide the fact that they are scheming the U.S., but in the case of Small-Penis-Hoppers, it’s just full-fledged “look at my cars and guns and bitches and murder victims” overcompensation. Just saying.

Back to Machado’s behaviour: I mentioned an old Sports Illustrated article I’d read about how strict the rules of etiquette are in baseball, insinuating that some pitcher for the A’s is basically going to feel compelled to hit an Orioles hitter next time these teams meet.

Next, we talked about the intensifying legal situation around the NCAA and compensation for student athletes. Ed O’Bannon v. the NCAA started the day we recorded (Monday, June 9th) and it reminded me of the 4.8-second mad dash to win the game that UCLA PG Tyus Edney pulled during March Madness in 1995 to squeak past Missouri and get into the Sweet 16 en route to winning the national championship.  O’Bannon was on that Bruins team. I remembered it being in the first round, which was incorrect, but I plead the fifth dimension due to being high at the time.

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As always we gave out #PROPS and #DROPS, a thumbs up/down segment which is in part a nod to tweets we made throughout the week. You can follow Yorga @count_yorga and us @TFQuarter

I had these choice words for any fans in San Antonio who were tweeting complaints about the air conditioning failure during Game 1 of the NBA Finals.

I also suggested a history lesson for T’Wolves Part-owner and President, Flip Saunders, who decided to take over the head coaching job, following in someone’s stinky footsteps.

In Weekly Woodshed we took a look at just how much Rafael Nadal dominates the French Open…. So much so, it seems sometimes as though he’s made out of clay. This prompted a musical tribute to Rafa, with a festive spirit.  If you’re lazy, go to 1:15:30 of the podcast to hear my virtuoso tribute.

That’s it for Episode 10 – as we say during the podcast, we’re really looking forward to Episode 11!

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Ep. 9 of TFQ’s podcast: NBA Finals Preview and more

Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Episode 9 & Links

The central focus of Ep. 9 of our new-ish podcast, The Shit Show, is the NBA Finals. We hit up our usual weekly segments, but it’s the huge Heat-Spurs revenge series that has our attention. We shoot the shit on that, and a bunch of other things that we’ve added to with these links and/or images to help you follow along.

Listen to the podcast here

In the weekly news segment What I Saw, I covered the Memorial PGA tournament from last weekend, won by 22-year old Hideki Matsuyama. He pulled a lucky ricochet on the 18th hole to set up a playoff with David Na when his errant tee shot hit a tree and found the fairway. Benefitting from this sort of bounce has earned me the golf nickname Rick O’Shea among Yorga, myself and other golfer friends. This gave me an obviously necessary opportunity to refer to the Denzel Washington-John Lithgow movie Ricochet. I even threw out the Ice-T line, “you want the power, go to the tower”, which I couldn’t find a clip of from the movie, and I haven’t seen it since maybe the mid-1990s, but I stand by it. I could post a link to the whole movie, but we’ve already afflicted you with Leonard Part 6 over the past few weeks (for Kawhi Leonard), so here’s the trailer.

Yorga gave such a heartfelt What I Saw to former Jays pitcher Roy Halladay because of a documentary he’d recently seen that I suggested he’d have been better off masturbating to a photo of “Doc” instead, but we wouldn’t do it on air a la Christian Slater in Pump Up The Volume.

The Halladaygasm touched on a book on pitching by authour Harvey Dorfman. Or, as I called him, Dorf on ball.

DORFonGOLF

He (Yorga) then paid notice to a crazy “Eephus” pitch in Japan. Here’s a link explaining the moment.

If you listen you’ll hear our explanation of what a Yorga Cam is in golf, and PGA player Scott Langley had the longest pseudo-Yorga cam we’ve seen.

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Our #PROPS and #DROPS weekly segment is a thumbs-up/down take on the last week in sports. Part of it is a recap of some #PROPS and #DROPS tweets we made over that span. You can follow us @TFQuarter & @count_yorga

#DROPS was doled out to Pacer Lance Stephenson for his childish antics, one of which being his slap to LeBron James’ face in between plays. I tweeted my thoughts about Stephenson’s public strategy after that unsportsmanlike moment.

#PROPS to Oakland A Yoenis Cespedes for a huge game.

#PROPS went out to Sports Illustrated’s Peter King for 25 years at the magazine. To me, King is a very good writer who often falls prey to the current trend of marketing one’s personality (and coffee, and beer, and hotels, and et cetera), but his inside scoops are poignant and touching – on a grounded level, not like Rick Reilly’s work, which I compare to Bart’s People, the uber-manipulative news show on The Simpsons.

Bart's People

Our Weekly Woodshed segment looked at a blowout in the Heat-Pacers series in the NBA Eastern Conference Finals. Here’s the box score.

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While arguing that the OKC Thunder need to take long, hard looks at GM Sam Presti and head coach Scott Brooks I poked fun at Brooks’ glasses and how he looks like Jerry when he had to wear super-strong glasses in front of Lloyd Braun in an episode of Seinfeld.

Brooks-Seinfeld glasses

In our NBA Finals Preview segment I gave a shout-out to a really good article about the bond between Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich and Tim Duncan by Marc Stein on ESPN.com.

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That’s it for this week! Stay tuned in a week for The Shit Show, Episode 10!!!!!!