Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Isiah Thomas Version (Ep. 11) & Appendix
So the week since Episode 10 has indeed been event-filled, as we predicted. But there’s also been some sad news, as several prominent names in pro sports passed away. For that we added a temporary segment called RIP, and also focused on the NBA Finals, which the Spurs won.
At the opening of the podcast, I refer to the many titles I hold here at TFQ (hint: all of them except Count Yorga’s). I use a joke from this classic Pathological Liars Anonymous skit, starring Jon Lovitz on Saturday Night Live.
We deemed this the Isiah Thomas episode, since the man they called The Baby-Faced Assassin wore number 11. That jersey number led me to bring up former NFL QB Jim “Don’t Call Me Chris” Everett, because I seldom pass up an opportunity to refer to his beast mode attack of asshole news reporter Jim Rome. (We also “sparked” our joint in the name of legendary MLB manager Sparky Anderson, also number 11.) Another runner-up for the episode title was Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald, whom we call “Cousin Larry” as a nod to Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers, and how he would call his cousin, Larry Appleton by this name.
In What I Saw we dealt with a few news items:
We deal with PGA golfer Martin Kaymer’s dominance in the first two rounds of the U.S. Open in our Weekly Woodshed, but in this segment we mentioned other highlights of the tourney, including a crazy ace by Zach Johnson on Sunday, and a wild approach by Kenny Perry during the third round.
We gave an update on the Donald Sterling saga, because the embattled (former? Too soon?) Clippers owner has “released the hounds” against the NBA, which could call former NBA Commish David Stern into the fray, evoking this Godfather 3 classic.
We talked about the crazy new renovations the Jacksonville Jaguars are making to their stadium, including spas so fans and players alike can soak in their team’s stink. Here’s a link to the report, just because it seems far-fetched without evidence. But don’t get us wrong – all-you-can-drink/-eat packages are a very welcome plan by professional sports teams trying to combat the ever-improving home viewing experience.
#PROPS to A’s outfielder Yoenis Cespedes for showing off his cannon arm on two occasions: This play at the plate, and this assist at third. This gave me a great (stoned) idea: an MLB All-Star Throwdown, an added skills competition to the All-Star break, in which outfielders (and others?) compete in some throwing contests. I’d love to see a Cuban showdown: Cespedes vs. L.A.’s Yasiel Puig. If anyone in the game today has a better arm than those two guys, let us know.
#DROPS to the typically-mistake-infused international play by England’s Wayne Rooney against Italy. I said we won’t talk much World Cup because we don’t like to be those douchebag sports people that analyze in depth a sport they don’t know well enough. But I am an England fan, and, really, just wanted a chance to say, “Ugh-Rooney”, a la Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. The link in the tweet will explain it if you’ve made the tragic misstep of not seeing the movie.
#PROPS from Yorga to commemorate the 44th anniversary of Pirates pitcher Doc Ellis’ LSD no-hitter. We’ve posted it before but if you haven’t seen this animated recreation of the event (narrated by Ellis himself), you have to.
#PROPS to pro golfer Ricky Fowler, who honoured Payne Stewart 1999’s U.S. Open winner at Pinehurst, by wearing Stewart’s typical old-school knickers style.
#DROPS to ESPN writer Rick Reilly, who drastically misrepresented his own father-in-law’s comments about the debate around the Washington Redskins in the NFL keeping their name. You’ll hear the details in the podcast, but I enjoyed seeing award-winning Reilly being exposed for sloppy reporting because his emotionally manipulative articles and TV segments are reminiscent of Bart’s People on The Simpsons. Fess up, Rick. (At the time of recording, Reilly had issued no public comments that we knew of.)
The focus of Episode 11, though, is the NBA Finals. We spoke at length about them, and said a lot about Kawhi Leonard, including some #PROPS. If you’ve been missing earlier episodes (for shame!), I started calling him Leonard Part 2 after the Bill Cosby crapsterpiece Leonard Part 6. However, an even better nickname, now that Leonard is pretty much success in itself, is the Ipso Factor, a nod to Leonard’s amazing spy outfit in the film.
I also compared Leonard’s smooth quickness to Apoo when he worked 96 hours straight at the Kwik-E-Mart on The Simpsons and thought he was “a hummingbird of some kind.”
I also dropped so many TRIVIA BOMBs on the NBA finals that it reminded me of this film classic.
STAY TUNED FOR THE SHIT SHOW, EPISODE 12 NEXT WEEK!