Blair Miller > THE SHIT SHOW, Episode 10 & Links
This week I declared off the top that we’re as high as Spicoli before class. That’s a nod to Fast Times At Ridgemont High, for anyone out of touch with his or her early 1980s side. Here’s what I mean when I gauge our state upon record. (To the extent that the resolution may have been affected.)
When I introduced Count Yorga (under the understanding that we were high) I said, “Yorga, I’m looking in your general direction,” as though he was Cypress Hill in an episode of The Simpsons.
This also made us reminisce about this time of year, when school is close to letting out, and things get all Alice Cooper once a year.
We’re starting a new tradition at The Shit Show, whereby we name each episode after our favourite athlete who wore that jersey number. This week is the Pelé Episode, with the world cup close on the horizon. One of the many runners up for this episode’s name was Earl Monroe, who was called “Black Jesus” when he wore number 10 in Baltimore, which took us down memory lane, a la He Got Game.
What I Saw is our weekly current events segment. Yorga detailed the recent Manny Machado v. Athletics drama, which (…for now) culminated with Machado treating his bat like a caber. Here’s a Caber toss. I recommend watching it with the audio on, because the crowd goes off in typical fashion for the British Isles crazies. I argued that Machado couldn’t have been trying to intentionally hit an A’s player, unless his throwing aim was as bad as 50-Cent’s recent opening pitch. Keep the audio on for that too: The play-by-play guy has clearly seen Major League.
This caused me to start covering a hip-hop song by, Lifesavas: their Thuggity Skit on one of their albums. This is because of my dislike for Thug Hip-Hop, of what I like to refer to as Small-Penis-Hop, because to me it smacks of the same insecurity that, according to South Park, the Japanese have. The Japanese use this insecurity to hide the fact that they are scheming the U.S., but in the case of Small-Penis-Hoppers, it’s just full-fledged “look at my cars and guns and bitches and murder victims” overcompensation. Just saying.
Back to Machado’s behaviour: I mentioned an old Sports Illustrated article I’d read about how strict the rules of etiquette are in baseball, insinuating that some pitcher for the A’s is basically going to feel compelled to hit an Orioles hitter next time these teams meet.
Next, we talked about the intensifying legal situation around the NCAA and compensation for student athletes. Ed O’Bannon v. the NCAA started the day we recorded (Monday, June 9th) and it reminded me of the 4.8-second mad dash to win the game that UCLA PG Tyus Edney pulled during March Madness in 1995 to squeak past Missouri and get into the Sweet 16 en route to winning the national championship. O’Bannon was on that Bruins team. I remembered it being in the first round, which was incorrect, but I plead the fifth dimension due to being high at the time.
I had these choice words for any fans in San Antonio who were tweeting complaints about the air conditioning failure during Game 1 of the NBA Finals.
I also suggested a history lesson for T’Wolves Part-owner and President, Flip Saunders, who decided to take over the head coaching job, following in someone’s stinky footsteps.
In Weekly Woodshed we took a look at just how much Rafael Nadal dominates the French Open…. So much so, it seems sometimes as though he’s made out of clay. This prompted a musical tribute to Rafa, with a festive spirit. If you’re lazy, go to 1:15:30 of the podcast to hear my virtuoso tribute.
That’s it for Episode 10 – as we say during the podcast, we’re really looking forward to Episode 11!